How Come

I never had science teachers like this?

"Take your Ziegler-Natta* catalyst, usually TiCl3 or TiCl4, along with an aluminum based co-catalyst, and place in the monomer at midnight on the night of the full moon. Then place the beaker on the ground in a circle of lighted candles, and then write the word "isotactic" or "syndiotactic", depending of the tacticity you desire, in runic letters on the side of the beaker with the blood of a freshly slain goat. The goat must be less than one year old, and without blemish. Then one must recite aloud the Ziegler-Natta incantation seven times, followed by the tacticity dance. If the polymerization is successful, a cold and violent wind will quickly arise and extinguish the candles, and then die away as quickly as it arose. It is important that one fast for three days before and after carrying out the ceremony. Following this little procedure usually does the trick."

*Why am I looking up Ziegler-Natta catalysts, you ask? Blame it on my status as Company Googler. Apparently I have earned a reputation for being able to find pretty much anything, no matter how arcane, online.