Weekend Highlights

Most Ironic Moment
My Green-Party-Activist, "Big Business is an Evil Oppressor" brother teaching the kids to play Monopoly.

Most Inappropriate Comment in a Family Setting
By my 94-year-old grandfather's 84-year-old girlfriend: "Are you coming to bed, Johnnie? Do you want to play hide the weenie?"

Couple Least Likely to Play Hide the Weenie
Dean and I, who, although we shared a room, slept in the twin beds of my youth, with the children sleeping on the floor between us. We couldn't even talk dirty.

Most Inane Comment
Also by my 94-year-old grandfather's 84-year-old girlfriend, while watching an ad for Vileda mops with the PowerZone™™: "Look at that! That's new!"

Most Often Heard Remark
re The MonkeyChild: "He's so cute!"

Best Group Photograph