Quotes from a MonkeyBoy

On crawling into my bed for a cuddle in the morning: "It's nice to let people sleep with people."

On being asked to get his shoes for the 18th time: "Oh, just give it a rest, Mom."

On watering the Christmas tree: "Do you know what another way of saying 'watering the tree' is? You can also say 'seeming through the pipes. That's what I say, anyway. That's also a name you can call the tree."

On being told I had to get dressed before opening the blinds so he could see the sunshine: "You could do it naked."

On whining: "I don't wanna stop whining!"

On blatantly stealing my food: "I really like how you share, Mom, it's very nice."

On being told by his father to remove his backside from the piano keyboard: "You're a tooty old fing."

On Santa: "What if Santa doesn't come to our house?" "He will, he comes to every house." "But what if he doesn't?" "Santa's magic, and he goes to every single house on Christmas, so he'll come to our house, too." "But what if he DOESN'T?" "Well, I guess we wouldn't get any presents and would be very sad." "Oh. OK."