A Minor Rant

I just had dinner at my ex-husband's, and I can't shake off a strong desire to have a shower and scrub myself clean. It's our daughter's 8th birthday, and he made dinner for her and two friends, and invited my son (not his) and I for dinner, my Beloved being on a ferry en route to visit his daughter, who is also 8.

He's not a bad person, my ex, but the traits I didn't like when we were married have gotten more pronounced, and I find spending any amount of time with him fairly painful these days. He's so wrapped up in himself, and what people think of him, and it dominates his conversation even with 3 young girls - how the maitre d' at a 3-star restaurant remembers him when he calls, how his butcher compliments his taste in meat, how he only shops where he knows who owns the store and they respect his needs ... He just can't get over what a fabulous guy he is, and it must be a continuous source of confusion to him that everyone doesn't share his opinion. Plus he smokes, so my clothes now reek of stale smoke.

I will confess to a deep dislike of pretension and self-aggrandizement. I have to bite my tongue when I'm around him to keep from pointing out that no one gives a rat's ass what kind of wine he buys or how many linen shirts he owns ... that there's a reason why, in the 6 years since we separated (his idea, by the way - he thought he'd be happier without me) he's never had a relationship last more than 6 weeks.

And no, I'm not bitter that he ended our marriage, despite how that last parenthetical comment sounds. I am so much happier with my Beloved, happier than I knew was possible until I met him. But he's not here tonight to settle my nerves, and so I have come here to vent.

Thank you, I feel much better now.